On a winter's day in January, nine souls from our community deathcare group gathered in one of our serene rural homes to rehearse what was once an intuitive, communal act — caring for our dead. This magical home funeral session was a space for hands-on practice, a way to deepen our comfort with deathcare and strengthen our ability to support one another when the time comes.

As the guide, I focused on leading rather than participating, reading ceremonies from the book, Home Funeral Ceremonies by Donna Belk and Kateyanne Unullisi, along with two of my own for moving and shrouding the body. Our "deceased" was a willing and graceful participant, offering feedback on what felt soothing or unsettling-an invaluable perspective as we refined our touch, presence, and approach.

We moved, washed, anointed, dressed, and shrouded the body, taking our time with each step. One member closed the ceremony with music, their voice and instrument bringing a moment of stillness and completion. The entire experience, documented by our resident photographer and artist, felt reverent, engaged, and deeply supportive. Afterward, we had tea and conversation, reflecting on the liminal session, our roles in community deathcare, and how art and music intertwine with these sacred acts.

This hands-on exercise is a perfect next step for students of CINDEA's By My Own Heart and Hand course — those who have a foundation in home funerals and are ready to embody the practice.

While many people are drawn to the idea of home funerals, physically engaging in the process can feel like a big leap, given how removed most of us are from caring for the dead. A public workshop may not be the right fit just yet.

Still, perhaps there's space for something different — I'm inspired by an idea I heard on Narinder Elizabeth Bazen's podcast. She created an interactive home funeral art installation that allowed people to witness these home funeral acts of tenderness and start to view them as normal and even beautiful.

For those interested in caring for their own dead, I encourage finding a group of like-minded individuals, watching CINDEA's Post-death Care at Home video series, and getting comfortable moving through these rituals.

Our gathering reminded me why we do this work — not just to prepare for the future, but to reconnect with something deep and innate. It only needs to be awakened and remembered.

March 13, 2025 ~ Madeline Christie, death companion &
By My Own Heart and Hand  teacher

Photos by Arleta Turnbull of
Yellow Petal Photo